If I could…

March 1, 2023 By Kinami7 2

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

When I saw this, the first response that jumped to my head isn’t what I ever thought it would be.

As I read this question my mind went straight to the answer without a thought process.

If I could be someone else for a day it would be my husband. I know that sounds so weird, it probably sounds lame but this is why.

I have been through alot over the last decade and my husband, like any human being has struggles dealing with my ptsd and triggers I have.

I was married to a verbally, physically and emotionally abusive man. Without going into further details, I was held in a marriage against my will, in a country I’m not native to nor spoke the language adequately and then threatened and abused along side my children.

It took alot to leave him, while I was heavily pregnant with my 7th child I build and executed my escape plan. No help from the police and hardly any Co operation from the court since the law doesn’t allow women to leave their husband while they have kids and awaiting divorce proceedings.

It took over a year of separation and raising 7 kids alone before he finally understood he had to co operate.

Now I’m remarried and my husband hears alot of these things which he knew prior to marriage, he has tried to communicate with my ex for the sake of the kids, at my ex husbands request.

My husband is at times accused of things by me because of the fear I have when I see certain actions or hear certain things my mind automatically jumps into defensive or reactive mode and I have an emotional spiral that sometimes my husband can talk me out of with love and kindness reassuring me he isn’t going to do those things etc.

But at times it causes my husband to be very frustrated. Which I can understand but struggle to not cause that reaction of him.

If I could be him for a day and experience how difficult it is being married to someone with ptsd maybe it would in some way help but it would definitely make me appreciate my husbands patience and dedication so much more.

My husband has become my hero and he doesn’t even know it.

I love you now and forever ❤️